Vegan by Day...

Hi friends and family. Are you guys even checking for post anymore, since I have not posted since AUGUST for goodness sake? I wouldn't blame you if you have given up that I'll ever have anything new to say. I am so bad. However, there have been so many changes since August that I've decided to use this blog as a public journal of my many exploits in the remainder of 2011. My 30th year will be the best one yet, I am determined to make it so.

In the last six months I was fired from my job (I know its cliche but it is the best thing that ever happened to me,) I decided to change career paths entirely and have enrolled in school for a second time and determined to tackle my food and weight issues once and for all. I want to be an addiction councilor for goodness sake. I can't really tell alcoholics to get a hold of their drinking while I'm obese can I?

To get a jump start and to give myself the ultimate challenge, I am doing a 40 day experiment in vegananism. I say experiment because even though I won't be eating a lot of dairy (no butter, cheese, etc) I am not committed to spending tons of money on vegan bread and vegan certified products. I don't have a bread problem, I have a eat too much with little to no self-control problem. A little casein in my dinner isn't the point.Jason and I also eat out at least weekly with our friends and I am not willing to sacrifice this. There are plenty of good and healthy vegetarian options in most restaurants. So when I'm out with friend I am giving myself permission to not be a strict vegan.

Today started Day 1. I have yet to go grocery shopping so I haven't stuck to the plan as strictly as I should. I had some Greek yogurt for breakfast and a beer with lunch. I'm sorry, but I can't let a perfectly good beer go to waste. It just feels wrong! However, my lunch consisted of roasted bell pepper fajita w/ salsa verde and fave beans. It doesn't sound that good I know but it wasn't bad. I will say because I wasn't have that insanely sensuous food experience that I have with say, good sushi or amazing pasta, I stopped eating when I was no longer hungry. . Apparently, I don't have that big of an appetite...interesting.

Well I think that's it for today. I've put way more out into a public forum than I've ever been comfortable with before. But one of my resolutions this year is to be real; and let's be real, you look at me and its obvious that I struggle in this area. There is a reason all of my facebook profile photos are 6 years old.

I covet your prayers as I try to take this on. God give me the strength to turn to you instead of food to deal with this insanity that is my mind on a daily basis.

Running Omens

Today I went for my first training run in weeks. I know I have waited until the last possible minute to start training for my fall races, but the martial arts and running were killing me. I have hurt in places I didn't even know could hurt! So I took a few weeks off of running and now I'm back. I have to say though, its a good thing I don't believe in omens, because today was a HORRIBLE run.

First off, no less than five ambulances went blaring by me and they were extremely LOUD, making it impossible to concentrate on Black Sabbath or Kings of Leon and get into my running groove. The track at Academy is loud- I don't like it. I think I need to find a more serene place to do my Saturday long runs. Any suggestions?

But the biggest bad omen I experienced to day was the WIND. I don't know what it was like around town at 11:00am today, but in the heights it was windy. I'm not talking about breezy or even gusts of wind. I mean constant, fierce wind that kept trying to blow my hat off and wrap my impound cord around my neck. And to make matters even worse, I was walking UPHILL and INTO it. See, I did my run on the downhill portion and ran the whole way out, thinking I'd walk back and start pacing distances. BAD IDEA. The walk back was worse than the run. It was miserable.

Luckily, for me, I don't believe in omens. So Thursday morning, I will be out there again. But I will say that if I see a black cat, a latter, or a broken mirror on the track, I may have to reconsider.

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/01/479-critiquing-the-sermon-at-lunch/

I want to introduce a sight that Tamara told me about. I am now officially addicted to it. It cracks me up! Enjoy!
http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/01/479-critiquing-the-sermon-at-lunch/

Race Schedule

Well I finally ironed out my race schedule. I'm going to take it a little slow to try and avoid another foot injury...Slow and steady, in order to finish the race.

Duke City 5K- Oct 16, 2010- Albuquerque NM
Veterans 11K- November 14, 2010- Albuquerque NM
PF Changs ROCK n ROLL HALF- January 16, 2011- PHOENIX AZ

Yep, I'm on a mission or maybe its just a classic quarter life crisis and I have something to prove to myself about turning 30; I haven't decided yet. Either way, here I go......

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." Hebrews 12:1

Remember Me

I want to say Hi to my 3 followers (& Brian & Jory too)...Its been a while. Why have I decided to pick this up after a year has gone by, I can't really say. I guess I just missed the outlet. The new format is better, don't you think-less complicated. That is a fair description of what I'm trying to accomplish these day, be less distracted and busy-simplify.

I'm going to change up topics too. We're about to move back to Albuquerque so I can't use this to stay in touch with as many people. (I don't think anyone other than my Dad ever read it in NC) I've decided to use it to document my journey to the DUKE CITY half marathon, my 30th birthday and celebratory triathlon sometime after I turn 30. That's right, I said it out loud, its out there in the blog-a-sphere so now I have to do it. I just know I've battled through some junk in my 20's and I am looking forward to my 30's kicking my 20's- well you know.

I hope to learn a few things along the way and maybe you guys will be entertained in the process.

I read a quote the other day that said "Forget about trying to find out who you are, go find who you want to be."

And so I am off....

When in doubt...

One of the most profound experiences of my Christian journey came in the form of chastisement and the tender age of about 14. I remember every detail with great clarity; as if it happened to me yesterday. I was reading a book that was absolutely fascinating. I was riveted. However, the main character kept cursing God. I'm not talking about just cussing with the Lord's name it it (as if that wasn't bad enough). He was out and out cursing God as a liar, sadist and all sorts of other horrible things. I felt very strongly I was being told to put this book down. It was not for me. But I couldn't. The plot had me transfixed. Over and over I was told to put it down and I refused. Finally, I experienced what I can only assume was the Lord "giving me over" as the bible talks about it Romans and letting me fully experience the consequences of my chosen sin. Suddenly I was consumed with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. In the passage of the book I was reading the charaecter was talking about how we all die and wither in the ground as worms eat us. (I know... I know...how was I ever riveted by this I don't know but I was) Anyway, I really believe, for a moment, the Lord removed His protection from my mind and I was allowed to fully experience that despair and what it would feel like to truly believe there is nothing. Everything is meaningless. Take what you can out of life because in the end you're just worm food. It was terrible. I cannot fully describe it to this day. I immediately grabbed my Bible and began reading every passage I could find where Christ promised that He is the Resurrection and the Light and He that believe in me shall never die. I read it over and over and over until my fears were silenced, my spirit quieted, and my hope restored.
These days I find myself in a similar conundrum. This time it is not because of any act of disobedience but just because I cannot get my head to be still. My time in Texas for some reason has me bombarded with DOUBT. Every question I dared never utter has come rearing its ugly head and chipping away at my faith, which until now has been ROCK SOLID. I told my mom the other day if something doesn't go a particular way that I think it should, I'm going to be so angry with God. (And even as I type that confession my mind reels with exactly the same question; Just who do I think I am?) But I immediately followed that statement with this one. "All I know these days is that God is good all the time and all the time God is good. And I can never question His love for me because Christ's death on the cross has forever demonstrated that to me." And now more than ever, I find myself clinging to those two simple truths. And as I did at 14, I find when I permeate myself with them, my fears are silenced, my spirit is quieted and my hope is restored. For me, gone are the days of cookie cutter answerers to life's tough questions. They bring no comfort. I am in a place of clinging only to TRUTH that cannot be reduced any further. God is good and He is love and because of that I can trust Him. Mark 9:24 has become so sweet to me: "Lord I believe, please help my unbelief."
I must confess that as I write this blog I'm arguing with myself on whether or not to actually post it. It is so immensely personal. But I cannot help but think that in these times of great uncertainty I am probably not the only one struggling. So I post this for my friends and family who I know are struggling through great difficulties of their own. I admonish you my brothers and sisters to hang in there and voice your doubts to our Father. He is more than able to handle them!

Signature Style for 2009

I couldn't help but be a little introspective this morning with it being the first day of a brand new year. I didn't make any resolutions this year. There are still so many from 2008 that I'm still working on! However, as I was doing my quiet time this morning I was struck by this question; what am I going to wear???? And for once, it had nothing to do with the sophisticated with just a twist of rock and roll chic, signature style I am so trying to cultivate.

Revelation 19:7-8,16: Let us rejoice and shout for joy exulting and triumphant! Let us celebrate and ascribe to Him glory and honor, for the marriage of the Lamb at last has come, and His bride has prepared herself. She has been permitted to dress in fine, radiant linen, dazzling and white- for the fine linen represents the righteousness (the upright, just and godly living, deeds, and conduct, and right standing with God) of the saints (God's holy people) And on HIS garment and on His thigh He has a name inscribed KING OF KIGS AND LORD OF LORDS!!!

It hit me anew this morning...The Lord has clothed me in garmets of salvation and robes of rightousness, dazzling white, so that I can be presented blameless and spotless before the one who's robe simply says KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

This year, I want those robes to show. I want them to dazzle the world around me. Because the fact that a sinner such as me, will one day stand before the KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS (I'm sorry I just can't help but type that in all caps...it thrills me to the core) blameless, spotless, pure and white; that is something worth celebrating. It's something worth sharing!!

My prayer for this year is that I would clothe myself daily in the fine linen of godly living, deeds and conduct that acuratly represent my right standing with God. That is what I pray will become my signature style for this new year!